Archive - Story Saturday - Rebecca - December 3rd 2017
THIS POST WAS ORIGINALLY MADE December 3rd OF 2017 ON OUR ORIGINAL WORDPRESS
After a Thanksgiving break, we're back! Story Saturday is a day late this week, and we apologize. It's proof of good things, though; our lives are so packed with people we love, that holidays are crammed with festive activity. We hope yours are the same!
This week's interview is with Rebecca Shetler, the other half of Hutch In Harmony. She grew up in Pennsylvania, living near State College, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh, before falling in love with a Kansas boy and moving here four years ago. She is now married to that wonderful man and they have one son, now a toddler. Working at Metropolitan Coffee for several years has given her many connections she cherishes in Hutchinson, and she has fallen in love with the community she's found here.
What is your favorite thing about our community?
A friend of mine described Kansas people as "salt of the earth", and those are always the words that come to mind when I think of the reasons I love our town. There is something unfailingly kind, warm, and unpretentious about the character of our town. I really love it. Our town has many intersections of religious and political groups, and while we might disagree sharply with ideas, when it comes down to it, most people in Hutchinson will show up to care for each other. I was so moved by the turnout at the Charlottesville vigil and the Unity Service, because I knew many people there may have felt uncomfortable with the ways others told the truth about their lives and perspectives, but they prioritized learning how to better care for each other. I still tear up when I think of that. That humility and love is sacred, I think.
Charlottesville Vigil, Hutch Against Hate (Photo credit: Naima Washington)
Is there anything you feel Hutchinson could be doing better, as a community?
I think this is a human problem, and typical of most of the towns in a nation that historically prioritizes white voices and white comfort, but I would love to see greater effort to include the voices of people of color in legislature and community organizing. Mr. Pope, leader of our local NAACP, whom I greatly admire for his leadership and tireless efforts for justice, recently said in an interview, "We have money for new bike trails, but not for a lawyer" to address the complaints of discrimination in our town. That stuck with me. Our little family frequents the parks often to play, and we love running on the trails, but every time I'm there, I think of those words and am reminded that we need to keep working to make Hutchinson a better place for ALL of us. If we aren't listening to each other, it's easy to assume that needs don't exist when they absolutely do.
How long have you been married?
Three years. We still feel like newlyweds, in a lot of ways, because our relationship has been so comfortable and mutually respectful from the beginning. I told Ryan just this morning that I'm still getting used to how much fun he is to live with. But all the things that people say about marriage getting better with time are so true. Parenting together pushes us to be more solidly a team, and I love it.
What is the greatest value that guides your life?
I want to be like Jesus. He has fascinated and challenged me my entire life. Who I've become, and the things I've been fortunate enough to do... It's all been hugely shaped by the example of Christ. I recently read that historians note a great leap in the advancement of human consciousness at the time of Christ. Before his life, there was no squeamishness about "collateral damage" in war. It was expected that civilizations dominated each other, and they celebrated the number of captives they took, and the people they slaughtered. Because of Jesus, an awareness grew... empathy, I guess... because of his constant focus on giving dignity to those who were marginalized and mistreated. I've always felt that to do the work of Jesus and to embody him in the world is to ask who is mistreated NOW, and to do what I can to work for freedom for all. I remember the first time someone called me a liberal for something I'd said about racial injustice. I was like, "What does that even mean?" It makes me sad that Christianity is so often co-opted to prop up oppressive systems, when Jesus did all sorts of things like stopping executions, feeding the poor, healing the sick, teaching women in a religion where that was forbidden, holding children instead of talking to important people, and purposely going to visit as an equal to those who were considered inferior by his race. The times I sense Jesus the most are when those things are being done in our world today, and if that's labeled as "liberal", then I think it's more of a judgment on our political system than anything else. To love Jesus is to love all, and to work for the dignity of all.
What began your awareness of prejudice and white supremacy?
When I lived in Pennsylvania, I spent several years living in neighborhoods where the majority of my neighbors were black and Latino. That experience really opened my eyes to the fact that my life experience is not reality for many people. I saw police treat my neighbors in ways that still make me feel nauseous, while I was always treated with respect, even if I was getting a speeding ticket. I have never in my life been questioned because I was sitting on my own doorstep. I've not been treated as a suspect during a family emergency. I've never been roughed up and charged with assaulting an officer because I was upset and crying. I began to see just how much the cards are stacked in my favor, or rather stacked against those who don't look like me.
And I learned so much from my neighbors. I learned to be more community-oriented instead of just looking out for myself. I learned the importance of loyalty. I learned that I need to listen to and believe others, even if I have no frame of reference for what they're facing. I realized just how much I tend to center myself, and how much I need to learn to undo in myself the conditioning of self-importance.
Do you have tips for white people who want to learn to be better allies for people of color?
Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Expect to feel hurt and defensive sometimes, and learn to channel that into self-examination instead of making your feelings others' responsibility. Learn all you can from people of color, but only those who want to educate you. Don't put that burden on people who may not feel like talking about their experiences. The expectation that every black person should do something for you, like it or not, is a very real outworking of white supremacy. I know. It sucks to realize you're affected by it when you want to be a nice person, but again, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable. There are many heroes of color who have written great books, and write enlightening twitter feeds. Seek them out, and do the work of educating yourself on issues of race. And yeah, mostly, I think it's very common for white people... even well-meaning white people... to get involved with the work of equality because they have the need to prove they're a good white person, and not racist. Expect that you will have to fight against making even standing for the rights of others about yourself. It's so easy to do, because we've been formed by a society that was built to prefer us. But centering yourself will often mean you'll unintentionally cause more harm. Remind yourself constantly that black lives matter more than white feelings.
Oh, and I see this constantly in many spheres... white people tend to think they have the answers for people of color. That's really dehumanizing, and again, an outworking of white supremacy. Listen, learn, and join their efforts where you can. And mostly, just be a good friend! Good friends don't tell someone that their experience is bogus because they haven't experienced it themselves, or insist they know what is best for you. Be humble, be human, and grow in empathy and respect for others.
A lot of white people push back against conversations about white supremacy and racism. Do you have any observations as to why?
Well, I think it's uncomfortable because it can feel accusational. Most people want to see themselves as good people, and realizing you benefit from white privilege challenges that self-narrative. But the point isn't to prove who's racist and who's not, although racist behavior and ideas absolutely need to be challenged! It's about learning to use your privilege to dismantle the systems that favor you and oppress others. I like to think of it as doing the work to build the platform, then handing over the mic to those whose voice should be heard, who can speak from their own experience or from the experience of their community. The point isn't to make people feel guilty; it's to shine a light on the problem of white supremacy, and all the sneaky and grossly overt ways it manifests itself. The point is to learn how to love each other better.
How would you define white privilege?
This is a sticky one, because so many of the white people I know worked hard for what they've gotten in life. The thought of being privileged can make us feel like we're being accused of getting things illegitimately. But I recently heard white privilege described this way: it means that a person of color statistically will work just as hard or harder, and you'll still be further ahead. Again, it's hard to think about because, as white people, we really value individuality and independence. But I think we need to ask ourselves what we're going to do with that discomfort. Oh, and resist the urge to use "that one black person" who's your uncle's manager at work to discredit the majority of people of color who say it's difficult to advance professionally, and the many statistics that provide evidence of wage disparity. What if we'd put that energy into changing that?
What is your dream job?
Oh, man. My husband would tell you I have too many dream jobs. I love what I'm doing right now: parenting my toddler, working part time at Metropolitan Coffee, and doing community organizing for Hutch in Harmony. But I really miss the years I spent working at a juvenile facility. That gave me a vision for a better judicial system, especially for juveniles. I dream of working for a restorative justice program, which focuses on addressing harm instead of causing harm in return for law-breaking. Especially when you look at how disproportionately people of color are incarcerated, I think it's an incredibly important part of social justice. And I've seen with my own eyes how easily a person of color can be arrested unnecessarily, so yeah... Restorative justice is very much an end goal for me. It's not a good fit for the season of life I'm in, but I want to make that happen when my child is older.
What's your idea of a perfect day?
I'm probably boring, but a day to wander in nature, read books, work in my flower gardens, play with my dogs, and be with my husband and son... That's the perfect day for me.
Is there anything else you'd like to share?
Yeah, I feel like I have a lot of people to thank. My life is made so rich by the variety of friends I have. I always feel undeserving of that, because I'm sure I make many cultural blunders. But I can't describe how wonderful it is to have friends who look, think, and believe differently from me. I remember talking to Keith Williams about this, back when we were working on planning the Unity Service, and he said, "People complicate this stuff. Say hello, make friends." And I said, "It's impossible to describe how much fun that is!" My friends, whether black, Latino, white, Muslim, atheist, or Christian, have broadened my perspective so much, and I've gotten to know and work with people who are literal heroes in the work for Civil Rights. That's enriched my life in ways that would never have happened without them, and I am humbly grateful. I want to keep listening, learning, joining the work, and celebrating all we hold differently and in common.